EmporMogulWiki

Character

Earl

Earl is a homeless man in his late fifties who lives in the side alley beside Carter Army-Navy & Surplus on Main Street, in Maruf. No one knows his last name. He sits on a yellow milk crate at the shop's front corner every day from 1 August 2000, with a different joke sign each day.

Tom Carter is the only man on Main Street who understands tactical footwear.

Earl

Personality and appearance

Appearance

An oversized surplus army jacket (probably off Tom's clearance rack years ago), fingerless wool gloves, a knitted beanie and a permanent cheerful grin.

Personality

A cheerful, witty street philosopher. He treats panhandling like a stand-up comedy gig and calls himself an "independent street marketing consultant".

Relationships

Tom pretends to be annoyed ("Earl, I run a respectable military establishment. Keep your alien ransom signs on your side of the drainpipe.") but looks out for him: he brings him leftover coffee in the mornings and gave him an olive-drab surplus poncho when it rained. Earl respects him: "Tom Carter is the only man on Main Street who understands tactical footwear."

Daily life

Tom's corner

He sits on an upturned yellow milk crate where the shop's side wall meets Main Street. The side alley beside the shop is his home: he sleeps there among lots of junk, with a bed, a blanket, a shopping cart, a tin can for coins and his whole stock of handwritten cardboard signs in different sizes.

His signs

A different sign every day, ten in turn:

  • ALIENS ABDUCTED MY IN-LAWS. NEED $1.00 TO PAY THEM NOT TO BRING THEM BACK.
  • NINJAS KILLED MY FAMILY. NEED $2.00 FOR KARATE LESSONS.
  • LOST EVERYTHING IN THE DOT-COM BUBBLE. WILL DISCUSS SYNERGY FOR 50 CENTS.
  • WHY LIE? I JUST WANT A CHERRY COLA AND A BAG OF CHIPS.
  • DON'T LOOK AT THIS SIGN. TOO LATE. VIEWING FEE: 25¢.
  • SURVIVED Y2K. STILL WAITING FOR THE COMPUTERS TO EXPLODE. NEED 50 CENTS.
  • WATCH OUT FOR THE OLD MAN WITH THE CANE. DONATIONS FUND RUNNING SHOES.
  • NEED $1.00 FOR EARPLUGS. THE DIAL-UP MODEM SCREAMS IN MY DREAMS.
  • FORMER CEO. NOW SPECIALIZING IN DOWNTOWN LOITERING. TIPS APPRECIATED.
  • TIME TRAVELER FROM 2026. DO NOT BUY FLOPPY DISKS. NEED 75¢ FOR PLUTONIUM.

Story

Planned, built next. During Tom's storefront job, Earl points out the soda can the kid missed behind his milk crate ("That's aluminum, kid! Moving inventory is half the battle!"). The kid can drop a quarter in his tin can, once, for a free tip from a former venture capitalist: never invest in companies named after dogs or pets; buy physical beans and canned peaches. "The future is weird."

In the game

Coming: quest pages are generated once the game's objectives move into a data file.

Quotes and trivia

  • His tip fits August 2000: the Nasdaq crashed in March and April 2000, and the most famous online pet store of the time closed in November 2000, three months after it.